The Funky Panther

You'll Be Dead, Give Us Your Kidneys

• Chad, Tim, Javier • Episode 196

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You’re gonna die someday—might as well make it count. In this brutally honest episode, we talk with Kevin, a tissue procurement specialist (yes, that’s a real job), who spends his days elbow-deep in the stuff you leave behind when you check that little box on your driver’s license. Spoiler: he’s not here to steal your kidneys in a back alley—he’s here to save lives.

From slinging HDMI cables at Best Buy to preserving human limbs with surgical precision, Kevin breaks down what really happens after you flatline. Forget the myths: doctors won’t pull the plug early if you’re a donor, your casket can stay open for the viewing, and no, your tattoos don’t make your organs goth rejects.

We also hit some cold, hard facts: someone in Texas joins the transplant waitlist every nine minutes, and 17 people die each day because there’s not enough to go around. Still think your spleen’s too special to share?

And just when you thought this episode couldn’t get more unexpected—Kevin also flexes his Rangers pride, immortalized in World Series tattoos and childhood memories of his baseball-loving grandpa. Death, donations, and dingers? We cover it all.

If you’ve got a pulse, you need to hear this. If you don’t—well, Kevin might be on his way.
 #DeadButUseful #OrganDonationTruths #TexasTransplantCrisis #FunkyPantherPodcast #RangersInkAndOrgans

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Speaker 1:

Spores kicks and fires. He struck him out looking it's over, it's over. The Rangers have won the World Series. Ranger fans, you're not dreaming. The Rangers are the World Series champions. After 52 years in Texas, 63 years in the franchise, the wait is over and the celebration has begun Straight up 8 o'clock in the mountains. Andrew's time comes at 11 o'clock. I mean it's 11 o'clock To an open now to talk about. Take your pictures down and shake it out. Truth or consequence? Say it aloud. Here's that evidence. Racing around, there goes my hero. Watch him as he goes there goes my hero, sergeant Harry.

Javier:

There goes my hero. Chad's not here, obviously.

Kevin:

You can tell Got this big gorgeous specimen here, the more attractive Chad.

Javier:

This is a better Chad, mexican Chad.

Kevin:

El Chad, I just found out, actually I'm Cherokee and Choctaw. Hell yeah money, I know right, oh, and that's on my website.

Tim:

Hello, welcome to the Funky Panther.

Javier:

This is the Funky Panther. You know from Fort Worth Texas. We, you know from Fort Worth Texas. We've got a great show for you. So stay tuned, relax, grab yourself a drink we're drinking Monster and enjoy yourself and have some of this. Wash your face with this Saratoga water. So chill out, make yourself comfy and enjoy the show. I'm Javier, I'm Tim, I'm Kevin.

Kevin:

And we are.

Javier:

The Funky Panther Fill in. I just wanted to do something different. Chad, I think. Whenever Chad's not here, I do something. I need to do something different.

Tim:

That whole thing is I wanted to jump into hello and welcome.

Javier:

To Move Phone brought to you by the Dallas River and 106.1 Kiss FM.

Kevin:

If you know the movie you'd like to see. Press one.

Tim:

I thought that was the coolest technology ever.

Kevin:

Seinfeld there was an episode of Kramer.

Javier:

It was his number on accident. Really, yeah, I don't watch. I've never watched Seinfeld.

Kevin:

What I go through.

Javier:

Once a year I go through that. I'm with that, with a couple shows. I'm like that with Band of Brothers, the Pacific and Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls is fire.

Tim:

Lance is all about girls. Gilmore girls is fire lance. Uh lance is all about our buddy. Lance is about um gilmore girls.

Kevin:

No, seinfeld man, that's his, that's his shit. I own every dvd and then I like, when I finally finished that collecting them, they were on netflix, like that seriously yes, dude, I was so pissed, but you know what it's, I'm gonna tell you.

Tim:

I think it's better to have the physical media at this point, because here's, here's a shitty part about, uh, all this digital media shit, so you can go on to amazon, buy the fucking movie, right, right. The problem that you're going to run into is, um, if they stop carrying, that movie? Yeah, you paid for it but you don't get to keep it like dogma oh really it's coming back.

Kevin:

Yeah, dude, it's been gone for 10 years winehouse uh, that, it was winehouse hehouse.

Tim:

He owned the rights or whatever he was holding it for Kevin Smith.

Kevin:

They went through this big old thing. It's coming back to the movie theater next month 25th anniversary, and they're talking about doing the Dogma 2.

Javier:

A lot of sequels have been announced.

Kevin:

Because Jesus comes back. I don't know if you knew that, speaking of that, they're doing a. What do you call it? Part 2. What's the jesus movie mel gibson did? Uh passion, he's doing passion part two.

Tim:

Like he's filming that, like we don't, yeah, what's it gonna? Be, about uh the rapture I'm sure jesus comes back.

Kevin:

He comes back. I don't know jesus comes back and he's pissed he's got the. You know, he's got he's got guns no comment okay that's a whole.

Tim:

That's a whole uh that's a.

Kevin:

That's another episode there is there is uh.

Javier:

I am curious if they have the puerto rican day episode on stream, because I heard it wasn't on streaming. I know it's on the dvd I'll, I'll look tonight puerto rican, puerto rican day it's the day.

Kevin:

It's the episode that right before the finale, it's like the fill in. They film that after they film the finale because they needed an episode and it's the worst episode. It's the worst episode it's boring.

Javier:

He burns like the puerto rican flag and on accident.

Kevin:

Yeah, there's a puerto rican parade that they have every year in new york yeah and they're stuck in the traffic. And then kramer goes and finds a bathroom and it's yeah, it's a whole shit show man I mean, I don't hate, I like.

Tim:

I like episodes like that, where it just everything happens and it's not purposefully happening, but it well, that's the whole looks like, yeah, that's the whole show.

Javier:

I know, yeah, it's made for that. I think it was perfect.

Tim:

I think the best episode on man we're Seinfeld talk. The best episode in my opinion, is the whole whenever he gets that, when Jerry gets the pin yeah, the the astronaut, yeah, yeah it's that whole ordeal. Take the pin. You need to watch it.

Kevin:

You need to watch it there are scenarios in my life that happen with my wife all the time. I'm like there's episodes, I feel about that and she'll be like shut up. I'll put it on right now.

Tim:

So uh, it's been. It's been a minute since we had Kevin on the show 2020.

Kevin:

2020. I was episode 13 or 20.

Tim:

He was early on.

Javier:

The picture I used for the post on Instagram was the episode.

Tim:

So I want to catch up on, let's catch up a little bit with Kevin. So, kevin, it's been a few years, man, what you been up to.

Kevin:

Well, let's see, that was, and that's all time. Okay, that was. Uh, let's see, ever since then I got married, I have a daughter, another daughter, yeah, eight more tattoos um quadruple bypass, uh that's crazy, yeah shit um.

Tim:

You know, I'm just living cutting people up yeah, I mean you had uh, that's why I'm here, dude, you got, you got. Cut up yourself with that quadruple bypass and talk about lucky.

Kevin:

That's a yeah, well, full full circle. Um, I was telling you all about Abel earlier. He actually saved my life, cause we were at a gig and he was telling me that I couldn't breathe. I wasn't breathing right, bro, you look like shit. Yeah, he was like you're not breathing right, blah, blah. So I went and, uh, 15 days later I came out. The doctor was like he gave me a stress test and he was like I can't, what do you say? Like I can't actually let you leave the hospital because you're 48 hours away from a massive coronary. And I was like, dude, I'm 40 years old, what the fuck are you talking about?

Tim:

dude, another, another one of my buddies um, uh, his name is aaron marquez man, and he had um same thing. Uh, he was, he was pretty young, he wasn't quite 40 yet I think he was in his uh, like mid-30s. Same type of deal man, and he was healthy dude, he was a firefighter and never had any real issues.

Kevin:

And then one day you just yeah, it's that, men, men with heart disease, man that's, and what sucks is. I didn't know I had it and I called my dad to tell him about it. He was like, oh yeah, we all have heart disease. I'm like dude, what the fuck, what did you? Tell you I could be taking bare aspirin my whole life doing that preventatives man going and drink so fucking much god, yeah, uh. Oh, the rangers won the world series.

Javier:

That though that's the best thing that happened. That is yeah, you got chuck morgan's autograph I don't know, I have uh eric nadell oh yeah, eric nadell, yeah yeah that's the box score.

Kevin:

That's so fucking cool, so we're gonna get it we're gonna actually get it.

Tim:

I've got a segment we're gonna get into that uh here later about the rangers world series, all the stuff that's happened and it's uh my in an opening day um because we'll be, here all night.

Javier:

Can I ask you something while we're on Ranger Talk. Yes, why do they want to have the goddamn home opener on Thursdays? Why can that be like on a Saturday where?

Kevin:

I can go, because now the MLB has the games, like in Mexico City or Japan or something, that are opening day for those teams. So they have to do those and then they have to get it approved by the league, then they have to get it approved by the city, and the city blah, blah, blah.

Javier:

So yeah, get approved by the city, and the city that blah, blah, blah. So yeah, dude, I don't have the luxury to like I've been. I've never been to a home opener for the rangers.

Kevin:

Y'all miss my parties, man.

Tim:

Yeah, I've done a home opener for um cowboys cowboys and um yeah but it's not the same.

Kevin:

Opening day for another sport is not the same.

Tim:

Yeah, it's so we're. I'm gonna stop you real quick, because we're gonna get into that.

Javier:

We're gonna get into that, so let's go back to what we were talking about. We all know each other from working at Best Buy. We were there about over 20 years ago is whenever I started.

Kevin:

I started in 04. 02. I was 03. 234, my store.

Javier:

That's right. Woo, that's right.

Kevin:

Woo.

Javier:

And we, you know, still they say that. I always like saying that, man, I wish I'd go back in time and re-experience that and it's not the work, because the work the customers were fucking shit, they're a bunch of idiots.

Tim:

It's the people we met I've talked about this if I could get paid what I pay, get paid right now to go work at best buy I would do it, oh yeah I would do it, it's it's, it's mine. It's kind of no offense to anybody's, working at best buy, but it's kind of mindless. You just go in there, especially looking back at what I do now for a living, and I'm sure you kind of think the same thing. It's less work.

Tim:

Yeah, you could just go there and just not turn off the brain. You want this washer man? Yeah, that's what I did. I sold appliances.

Kevin:

That was my thing. I sold appliances, man. Yeah, I could hook them up and wash clothes. We were there when the refrigerator started coming out with the screens on them. Remember that shit? Yeah, you could play music and do all that shit on them.

Tim:

Somebody puts Pornhub on there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, they did right. That's right Bullshit. It was y'all, it was you, and.

Kevin:

Anthony, fuck it Me. And.

Javier:

Anthony dude to christ. Like everywhere, chaos followed where anthony was it was always them man. Yeah, anthony would always call like lp and have somebody steal shit from media or whatever you were the scapegoat but man, yeah, every every time, like even whenever me and anthony worked at best buy like um, one of our friends was assistant manager there and she's she knew we went to school together and she's like so anthony's gonna get transferred here. I need to know right now if you're going to work if y'all are going to work, if he's gonna come over here.

Javier:

His numbers are great, but I need to know if you're gonna be on your a game who is this defying norma?

Tim:

oh, oh, yeah, um, and I forgot she was there. Yeah, she was uh she norma mendez?

Javier:

oh, I don't think, you no I left in oh five oh. But oh, this is t-mobile, this team, okay, and like he's like I need to know right now if it's gonna be a problem. I was like why, what would be a problem?

Tim:

and she just looks at me because she knows I forgot she worked at t-mobile and yeah, that's funny and so I'm like, yeah, it'll be fine.

Javier:

And it ended up like it was fucking, it was fantastic.

Kevin:

So those are the best memories. They're cool man, we have good parties and stuff.

Javier:

Dude, my first month at Best Buy was that?

Kevin:

Was it my Halloween party? Yes, at Lockheed. Imagine that at opening day those were my parties, bro.

Tim:

So what's funny is places like that. If nobody's ever worked retail man, retail's one of those places where you'll go in there and you'll be a 16 year old and your best friend's like a 40 year old.

Kevin:

Yeah you know bill pole bill pole my dude I hope he's watching man bill pole he needs to.

Javier:

I haven't. Well, my girlfriend, uh, adores bill pole yeah and so bill got her like her first like vinyl, her first like record set, and all this cool shit yeah, every time I hear the song uh lips of an angel by hinder uh I always think of bill because he, he was always like uh lips of an angel by hinder uh-huh. I always think of bill because he, he was always like uh, lips of an angel, more like dick of a sailor and you know he always had those quick quips and he was just so fun to talk, dude and a killer guitar player man he's a bad motherfucker.

Kevin:

Uh, you know his underground railroad stuff.

Tim:

So they toured germany for a long time in the 90s man dude his, uh, his prog rock stuff man, he was. You remember when he had that long hair?

Kevin:

I do okay, I love you, bill. I I swear. I used to think he looked like knuckles from sonic. Oh yeah, every time I saw him I would think that dude, it's so wrong, but I'm glad he cut his hair this is gonna be on me too, but this is gonna be.

Javier:

I like the. Whenever we put these clips from the show on to, it chops up like the best clips and this is going to be one of them. It's going to be like listen as we talk about working at Best Buy. It's going to have the details.

Kevin:

He looks like Knuckles. That's funny.

Javier:

But those were. I mean we, you know, of course, we've known each other for a long time and it's a really good thing that we still know each other remember running into you and uh, eddie, over at, uh, uh, what's it called over?

Tim:

at rar and I walked up because I don't think y'all, I don't think you remembered me at first at first I didn't know, because I walked up and I was like dude, I worked with you at best, buy you like both of y'all him and eddie and I, like I recognized both y'all just like that.

Kevin:

We were probably like 10 ugly pugs deep because we knew the owners and shit.

Javier:

So yeah, I was like you're the guy from that thing that I know, yeah, okay, even francisco too. He recently uh started, yeah he popped up.

Tim:

Yeah, he's a good photographer, man yeah, and his daughter can.

Kevin:

She can illustrate, draw like, okay, this is wrong, but you know how like sometimes autistic dude can like photocopy, draw through his mind. Yeah, his daughter's badass dude like she can draw real good, it's crazy man she's autistic.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I ran into him well, I ran into him and I was like I was looking at him.

Tim:

I'm like dude, I know you from somewhere and I'm asking because then he worked.

Kevin:

He ended up working at like dominoes I think or something he still does, but was it when you saw him was he shaved his shaved head?

Tim:

because he does that now no, I have to stare at him. It was, it was pre-shaved, uh, pre-shaved. Well he.

Javier:

Whenever I saw him, I saw him like three months ago at the shop because I worked on his car and he had hair and he shaved his head already.

Kevin:

He he now and then, you worked on his four-door standard vw.

Tim:

Every time I see it I'm like you got a vw standard four-door car yeah, I was going by, I see him and I'm like dude, I know you from somewhere and I'm asking, I'm like did? You work at this place and he's like no, I work at Domino's and I'm like I see that because I'm at Domino's right, but and I was like did you work at Best Buy? And he's like yeah, and then it just clicked.

Javier:

you know Chad, I'm calling it now Dodgers-Rangers. I feel like that's a good That'd be a good That'd be a good series, that'd be okay.

Kevin:

I mean Otani's got a big Oriental dick. Yeah, dude, that guy have you ever heard him hit I was at the All-Star game and when he hit the ball I could hear the crack in the outfield with the place packed Dude.

Javier:

Over the roar. That guy's a fucking brick house. It's ridiculous. He's like solid I've never seen. If there were many of him, they would have won World War II.

Kevin:

Probably that guy is a beefy motherfucker. He's just tall as shit. Yeah, he's a fucking beast dude.

Javier:

And he's a terrible gambler. He's a ridiculous gambler, I thought that was his handler.

Kevin:

What was it? Oink, oink, oink.

Speaker 1:

Sure.

Kevin:

If he gets a tornado bat, we're all fucked, man. What is it? Twister bat? What do they call them Tornado?

Javier:

bat. Oh, my God that new one yeah.

Kevin:

Doley's getting one tomorrow. You think so? No, he ordered it Him, and Berger and Peterson ordered one.

Tim:

No shit the two are gonna practice with.

Kevin:

I think it's gonna change. I think that bat's gonna change the the game completely. They're legal. Yeah, yeah, they're completely legal.

Tim:

So, yeah, um, all right, yes, so back on track. We're here for a reason, yeah. So, uh, kevin, uh, we know that you don't work at best buy anymore and you, I mean for the discount.

Kevin:

I wish I could go down. Oh, tony lee. Tony lee still fucking work, shut the fuck, every sunday. He's. He's a fucking doctor, he's a certified mechanic and he still works at best.

Tim:

Buy for the, for the fucking show he's a fucking doctor yes, yes, sir, no shit yeah I knew he was a mechanic, that's a legendary schedule.

Kevin:

How smart do you have to be to be a full-blown mechanic that taught himself and a fucking a pc doctor? Get the fuck out of here, dude dude, that's he.

Javier:

Yeah, he was working at at Toyota Fort Worth while he was doing all that. Yeah.

Kevin:

Asians and math man that's wild man.

Tim:

All right, so we know that you don't work at Best Buy anymore. And, uh, you actually hit me up, because this month is something special for the organization or just in general that you work for. So I want you to tell the people what exactly do you do okay, so I work for tissue right now.

Kevin:

So basically what I do is tissue procurement, which is a nice way of saying I cut up dead people for donation okay so what I do is is the tissue part. So there's an organ side and a tissue side, right. So what I do is I take corneas, uh skin, uh your structure, bones, sometimes your rib cartilage, your heart, six or seven tendons in your legs and arms, skin grafts, stuff like that, and those are for donation. The other part is organ, which is.

Kevin:

A surgeon takes those because, they're alive and those are the ones that are donated right away. So, that's what I'm in right now?

Speaker 1:

Well, not right now.

Kevin:

It's been almost 10 years, 10 years, and this is national donation month.

Tim:

it's not a day, it's a whole month it's a whole month, yeah, all right, every april. So I'm gonna. I've got questions, some common myths that I want to bust.

Kevin:

If I can bust them, if you can bust them okay I'll call the walrus guy for myth busters, so I'm I'm going to start with the first one here.

Tim:

So healthcare professionals are more likely to let you die if you're an organ donor.

Kevin:

That is actually unfortunately true because most hospitals do not want to work with. I'm dead serious. It's a love-hate relationship and it's either they love donation or they don't. And if they don't, it's not that they'll let you die love donation or they don't. And if they don't, it's not that they'll let you die, it's they will prolong the process of letting the organ team get in there when they're supposed to no, I'm talking about like to, but I'm talking about in general, like if I go in, if I go into the hospital right now and I'm like sick.

Tim:

Yep, I've got some shit going on. Okay, are they gonna let me just die, because I'm an organ donor?

Kevin:

no, yeah, that's what I'm, that's what I'm asking, I was like well, I was like crossed out fucking liar no, uh, they will. They will do their best if they know your organ donor, but most of the time the reason is is because, if you're alive, yeah and they know you're gonna pass, which is 99 of the time, they will keep your organs on the on the machine, ready to go right.

Tim:

So, yes, okay, yeah, I got you so. So if I need medical help, they're going to do everything they can to try to save absolutely. But at I'm like 99, going to die. Okay, they're going to try to keep my organs alive and then you'll probably have the conversation with family, if there's family or whatever, and say hey, he's going to pass, but he's an organ owner, that's what we want to do. Okay, cool, so that one's busted Got it All right. You can't have an open casket funeral if you're an organ owner.

Kevin:

That is up to the family, because there's actually strategically places that we cut, let's say, for a woman we won't cut the arms because we take the humerus, because we don't know the funeral arrangements, what they're going to dress, what they're going to have on. So we normally just don't do that, and even in the other states that I've worked in, it's the same thing everywhere. So it's up to the family, all right. Uh, if there's normally a um cremation, normally there's not a viewing right, yeah, so then you're.

Tim:

Yeah, so you get cremated, you can take all your stuff yeah, but, yeah, but it's 99% up to the family.

Javier:

Next of kin. Huh, Is it still a conversation? Even if they don't have it like, if they're a donor and they don't have it in their will and the family doesn't know, you still have that conversation with them.

Kevin:

There's a whole department that talks to the family and stuff and, yes, there are actually more than normal, because one of my statistics I want to talk to you about there's 44% of adults that are not registered. So if you're not registered registered or not we have to talk to your family. But they have to try to convince the family right after death. Hey, we need this from them. So, yes, that is a conversation that happens all the time, more than you would think. Like, yeah, it's hard to do.

Tim:

What about? Only young and healthy people can be donors.

Kevin:

No, that's not true, because most of the time there are what we call rule outs. So, like during COVID, if it was like anything respiratory related, automatic, just no. But you can donate just skin. You know, as long as you're not jaundiced, you can donate just skin. You know, as long as you're not jaundice, you can donate just skin and corneas. As long as you don't have cataracts, you can. You know, uh, there are limits to what you can donate. It also depends on fucked up you are, you know, like the for all, if can I describe, yeah, yeah yeah, the first donor I ever did.

Kevin:

When I was watching this guy drowned and I'm not trying to be vulgar, but this is the truth. It freaked me out because his junk like the shaft. It was this round because he drowned. He was in the water for like four hours and it was that big and his balls were this, like I could grab them like this, like boobs.

Tim:

And he was yellow.

Kevin:

Yeah, and then. So when you drown, the water goes all through your body. So when they cut him open water, just Poured out.

Tim:

Yeah, that's wild Goodness yeah it freaked me out. Coming from the chat.

Kevin:

Yes, so I've got some questions here, let's have them.

Tim:

Have you heard of Bill Aldridge, the eyeball serial killer from Oak Cliff?

Kevin:

No, but if he's the eyeball serial killer, he probably took a lot of business away from us. He took the eyes away. No, I'd like to meet him.

Tim:

So what are your? Thoughts on the UNT organ resale scandal.

Kevin:

Oh, that's a lot of stuff going on. That's actually something.

Speaker 1:

I can't.

Kevin:

Okay, you can't talk about it, okay, you can't talk about that. Hipaa, hipaa, all right, yeah, yeah, hipaa.

Tim:

HIP. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that's come out of that. They were doing water cremations. I know water bath cremations, which is not legal in Texas.

Kevin:

Water bath cremations. Yeah, it's pretty cool actually, but it's not legal.

Tim:

I think it should be legal. It should be Because it's better instead of putting hydrocarbons up in the air.

Javier:

Oh, for the environment. Yeah, it's better for the environment.

Tim:

Yes, all right. Oh, she has another question. Come on, let's see. How did you get into the field? Did it just happen, or is it something you wanted to do?

Kevin:

Okay, long story short. One of my best friends, oscar. Do you all know? Oscar, big meaty buff, motherfucker. Oscar, pretty boy.

Tim:

You've seen him with me, or sometimes Maybe.

Kevin:

Anyways, so him and like five other dudes I know were into it and they were doing it for like 10 years and I was always scared to do it. I was like I can't handle the bodies. There's no way I can fucking touch dead bodies. And I was struggling man and one day he called me. He's like hey, man, we're hiring you want to do it? All right, fuck it, let's do it. And it was it. That was it, because you don't have to go to school for this. It's everybody's dead. You're not gonna like, you know hurt.

Tim:

You know hurt anybody, yeah, so you learn. You just learn how to do the cuts and take the things Right.

Kevin:

Yeah, and that's part of the training is they know you're going to mess up sometimes, but then, but now it's like you know, riding a bike it's nothing. But everybody that I know that was into it before me.

Tim:

You look good. You look like you'd be good with a knife.

Kevin:

Let's bring you on. I have good shaving skills.

Tim:

All right, let's see. Your religion prohibits organ donation.

Kevin:

That is true up to your next of kin.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Kevin:

Yes, and unfortunately it does happen to the same ethnicities. It's always the same.

Tim:

Okay, it costs money to be an organ donor.

Kevin:

Not for the donor or the same.

Tim:

Okay it costs money to be an organ donor, not for the donor or the family. Sweet, yeah, okay, you can't donate if you have tattoos or piercings.

Kevin:

That's incorrect All right. Absolutely incorrect. You can't donate skin if we can't get a certain amount of square inches off your body. Like me, so I've got tattoos, we all have tattoos, but my back isn't touched. So what we do is we cut shoulder to shoulder all the way down to the butt and across, and it's just one big sheet of skin that's enough to donate and that will help that right there will help two or three people, burn victims and stuff do you think that's what buffel bill was doing?

Kevin:

he was trying to help burn victims.

Javier:

Yeah, it wasn't psycho.

Kevin:

He just wanted to help. Yeah, the lamps were the extra skin that was uh. Um, I do have a question.

Javier:

Yeah, yeah, so there was an episode of scrubs, okay, where, uh, they were like, oh, this lady's gonna die, and she died, and they had all these organs and they gave into the the patients were they in a bucket or something? No, no, but everybody was like it. It was like they opened a fridge and there was a bunch of organs in there the organs were like being rejected by the bodies and was killing them, and it came to find out that she had rabies. Is that?

Kevin:

Lemonade what?

Tim:

My phone decided to start reading off stuff. That was weird.

Speaker 1:

Milk, milk, lemonade around the corner Is this an.

Kevin:

That was weird. Milk, milk, lemonade around the corner.

Tim:

This is an episode of Scrubs this is on an episode of Scrubs.

Kevin:

Yeah, I mean.

Tim:

This seems a little heavy.

Kevin:

So if they're Oregon they are tested in the hospital before the Oregon process starts. So there's all kinds of numbers and all this stuff. So they know beforehand. And so that means if there's's something going on they're not gonna keep the organs alive to wait for the donation, because they can pass away and be on the machine keeping their organs alive for the surgeon to be ready. So if there's something wrong then they won't yeah because they have all the blood tests and and and all that stuff.

Javier:

So yeah, because it wasn't that another thing that was happening with, uh, covid too? Like some of these organs not like lungs or anything, but like they were infected with covid but it's like well, we can treat the covid, these organs are still good, is that?

Kevin:

yes, that was at first. Yeah, but that's why eventually they were just like, if it's respiratory anything, it doesn't matter what, it is just no okay they because they didn't, we didn't have the time to test and, uh, because you have to test and then to see if they're gonna keep the organ and all that other stuff and reject it. We have, we don't have time for that. Yeah, you know, somebody needs a heart. We don't know if they're gonna keep it because of covid, they're just. There's no, no risk.

Tim:

It's infallible man, it's not I heard that you have to die to donate I bet you you could donate some things I do know you can donate actually, uh, kidney, I could donate a kidney one but you can do like what I do tissue you could probably donate like um if you're gonna get your legs cut off you could donate your femur or something, as long as it's not diseased, okay, yeah um, I know that uh, you know, uh, parts of liver can be uh removed you can cut it in half um, maybe some skin, if you had some extra skin that you need to get rid of, or something yeah, I wonder about those like um so as people who go to like the extreme weight loss and have all that extra skin? I've thought about that, but it it's no elasticity.

Kevin:

No, yeah, there's like, uh, even like a young child. You can't. I think it's well it be under 17,. You can't donate skin because they're too tight, the skin's too tight, but if you're super overweight, they're too loose, too loose yeah, you've got to get that.

Tim:

There's like a median right there. It's like what's called Goldilocks.

Kevin:

Oh yeah, she's got to be just right. Yeah, we have bears in the OR that judge the skin. For us it's a whole different, different type of bear.

Tim:

But um being rich and famous moves you to the top of the transplant absolutely fucking, not, no, no but being rich and famous does buy you, uh, black market stuff.

Kevin:

Yeah, um, so maybe that I did read buys an election, it does sure shit, except for in wisconsin, sorry.

Javier:

Yes yeah, ain't that the truth, thank god. Um, there was a thing I read in like men's health or like ways to, if you're in a health crisis, ways that you can save yourself, and they were naming off countries that you can go to, where you pay somebody like fifty thousand dollars for like somebody's livers or like something like black market.

Tim:

Yeah, it's wild. I mean people used to. I mean you could sell like your test, like a testicle you could sell. You can still do that actually for 50 000.

Kevin:

That's actually a thing still is it? And it's legal. God, I'm, I'm. I don't need kids anymore.

Javier:

So no, yeah, just like take a boat possibility. I'm gonna buy myself a nice fancy car make me a eunuch just put tennis balls in there, do diabetes, cancer and other illnesses also exclude you from uh donation.

Tim:

Cancer, yes, yeah, diabetes no diabetes.

Kevin:

You can donate um your skin and your eye, your corneas if your corneas are good, for cornea is good and you can. Even if you have uh cataracts, you can still donate um if you have like the fake lens okay, which, by the way, I know you know medical terms so a fake lens is called non-fake it non-fake and a real lens is called fake it. That's funny, it's crazy, it's weird as shit I hate the eyes, dude, yeah it just scares

Javier:

me because I freak out well, I freak me out because my girlfriend got lasik done and you get the, I guess, the flap and all. So I got lasik done you did.

Tim:

I got lasacing done, man, like dude a long ass time ago. Um, I actually have to wear glasses at night now. I got it a little bit too young drive yeah, like I get some starbursts and stuff like that from the lights, but it wasn't. That's not because of lasik, I haven't.

Tim:

I had a stigmatism before and they said like I mean, you're gonna have this stigmatism so you might have some issues. Um, it's not so bad. But I mean other people have heard horror stories where they've had it feels like they got sand in their eyes all the time and things like that but I don't know man.

Tim:

It saved me a lot of money I haven't had to I haven't had to get my, I haven't had to have new glasses um up until I got glasses, and that was, uh, almost like 15 years plus yeah, longer than that, actually damn, probably looking at like 19, 20 years jeez, that was how long ago you had lasik yeah right, yeah, it's it's dude, it's had been probably it has to be like.

Kevin:

Maybe 18 years ago, I don't know, they had lasik 18 years ago yeah dude, it was, um, it was like a cattle call.

Tim:

Yeah, it was weird, um. So I went in there and got my pre uh screening, they're like oh yeah, you're a good candidate. Cool, come back. And I came back and they gave me there was a room, a bunch of people. They do LASIK surgeries on these two days.

Kevin:

It was a bunch of.

Tim:

There's just a bunch of people there, like a shit ton of people.

Javier:

Like a Turkish air flight.

Tim:

Exactly. They gave me a Valium Squid.

Kevin:

They gave me exactly they gave me a Valium Squid game.

Tim:

So they gave me a Valium to chill me out half a Valium and then they put numbing drops in my eyes and then, right before I went back, they gave me the other half a Valium and said put it in your tongue. So by the time I got back there you could have taken dude, you could have taken my whole eyeball out handed it to me and I'd been cool.

Tim:

You know it's been fine, but you were in there. You lay down. They're like stare at this light, don't move your eyes. Blah, blah, they do the thing and then you're out. I mean, it was like yeah, 10 minutes max.

Kevin:

That's like my grandpa when he had cataract surgery, so you're awake the whole time for that. And I was in the room with him and they were like, okay, and they put the drop in and they were just doing it and I'm just watching him.

Tim:

He's just talking to me like talking to me in worse or whatever. I might go get a fake lens I actually I have cataracts.

Kevin:

I've actually had cataracts when I was 24 really I'm I'm 44 this year in a couple weeks.

Tim:

What the fuck's wrong with you, man?

Kevin:

your heart, the heart sucks and your eyes suck being half white and cherokee and all that shit, I don't know. But, um, that's what I'm scared of is is they? Well, they have a drop now that can dissolve the cataract, really?

Tim:

but I'm scared of that because they're like I mean, if it dissolves the cataract, what else is it?

Kevin:

exactly like you're. Yeah, I don't know it's like you put straight acid in your eyes

Javier:

that for me like I've never had like surgery or anything like that, and so all of that just freaks me the fuck out because, like well, what if they put me under?

Tim:

and I don't wake up.

Javier:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, or you know, because I think that's what happened to one of my dad's god children. Like they put him under for surgery, he didn't wake up he woke up dead.

Tim:

He woke up dead, he's like I got knocked out for my, my tooth being yanked out.

Kevin:

So I mean that was pretty cool lucky.

Tim:

It was a good do well, they had to. So I had a tooth pulled and then I had a crown pop off okay and so I'm going through the whole implant stage where I have to put an implant, so I've got cadaver bone that they, yeah, put in there it's like, yeah, so the femurs and stuff.

Kevin:

I was telling you about they take it and grind it down. They well, they sterilize it, bleach it, grind it down to a powder and it literally looks like like baking powder. It's just baking powder. And then they make a mold out of your whatever you need, and then they, that's the cast and boom so what are they what?

Javier:

what additive do they use to harden it like? What are they that I don't?

Kevin:

that's. I don't know. He doesn't do that. That's that's uh three or four steps down past what I do.

Tim:

I don't know man, it was weird. It was like this. So they said like you might feel some granulated stuff in your mouth, you know, as it comes out of the socket right away. Yeah, yeah, the first couple months was the first couple days, and then then it hardens up and clears up um.

Tim:

So yeah, I mean y'all I don't know either one of y'all know this um so my, my uncle, um. He passed away several years ago now, but, uh, he was one of the oldest living recipients of a heart transplant in the state of texas. Like he, was.

Kevin:

He was the oldest one, or one of the first ones, one the longest living recipients. Oh, really, really, that's awesome.

Tim:

He got a heart transplant. I want to say it was in like 93.

Kevin:

When did he pass?

Tim:

Maybe, like four years ago, five years ago.

Kevin:

Oh so it was a long time, Good Lord.

Tim:

Yeah, so he lived a long time with minimal complications. I mean, he went into near rejection a couple of times, um was taken care of uh pretty well and uh, yeah, lived a long time. What got him was he uh, he had a carotid arteries, got plaque built up, yeah and they went in there to clear him out and, through clot, had a massive stroke they didn't have him on plavix, he was on some stuff, but yeah, he was, no, he was.

Tim:

He was on uh, on a blood thinner, but it was uh, just you know damn well, that must have been a super young heart, though yeah, a 17 year old girl, that's how old was he when he uh?

Kevin:

he was probably um uh late 50s oh, so, yeah, yeah, so that was a real good heart, yeah, man, oh got a real good heart 17 year old.

Tim:

He used to tell a story, so I asked him if he ever wanted to meet the donor's parents or family.

Javier:

That's possible and he said no.

Tim:

He's like I didn't want to do that because they want to feel you, because it's like, oh, it's part you and all that attachment and whatnot.

Kevin:

I can talk about that to everyone.

Tim:

He used to joke. He used to have this joke, though, man, he would talk to anybody and everybody and tell him about his heart. He was really proud about this thing, right, but he had this joke. He's like yeah, I got a 17 year old girl's heart and, um man, every once in a while I catch myself trying to sneak out of my house and I have this love for shopping now and I'm just like man

Tim:

yeah, but yeah, he had a, so he had a massive heart attack, and this was before they had l that devices. Uh, okay, so he had this massive, massive heart attack uh 93 uh, probably a couple years uh, before that he was in um, he had a. He had a really low uh ejection fraction um. So he has this big heart attack they he ended up having um having to do bypass surgery but it shot his heart Like he just.

Kevin:

The bypass.

Tim:

No, his heart attack caused the issues. He ended up having bypass as well. Oh man, so it was a heart attack that led him to the bypass? Jesus, so they didn't go in there and find that he had congested or had clogged arteries or anything. They found that out after he had this massive heart attack. I believe it was an la like a complete led occlusion.

Kevin:

So it's a. The led is your um the main artery, what they call the widow maker, and you know what. And for him to last that long? Because in the 90s the medication, the non-rejection medication it was harsh on yeah, and it it was. It's primitive compared to what we have now. So for him to last that long, dude, I'm proud, it's crazy.

Tim:

So I remember him early on, Dude, he swolled up like a balloon because of all the steroids and all that stuff and then got him on some good medicine and then he started looking normal again. Exercising and doing all this stuff Never had any issues, man, yeah, he never had any issues after that until he was dude close to his 80s.

Kevin:

I mean normal life, pretty much yeah 100%.

Tim:

I mean there's some things he couldn't do. Obviously he had his commercial pilot's license. He couldn't fly anymore.

Kevin:

I had to get cleared for work. I had to get cleared by my doctor to continue to work because I fly. So much.

Javier:

Yeah, I was scared. Oh man, I didn't realize that. So altitude, the pressure, the cabin pressure, yeah, it can.

Tim:

So right after you have any massive heart surgery you shouldn't fly anyways.

Javier:

But yeah, altitude changes, but for commercial pilots, they have to be in tip-top health, and so he couldn't fly anymore. We've got another question. Yeah, Chet, do you do this at a hospital or other facility?

Kevin:

So where I started here in Fort Worth, they have a facility of their own. We had our own ORs. We do work, sometimes at the ME's office, sometimes we do it at hospitals and normally if we do it at a hospital, so Oregon will do it in a regular Oregon operating room, because you have to have a surgeon and there's a team, a whole team, in there and then the surgeon's ready and once he calls the death, the timer starts and then the surgeons ready and he'll. Once he calls the death, the timer starts and then that happens. If we're in the hospital, my team, like the tissue team, will go in after organs done and we'll do it in there if they're not organ patient. Most of the time it's down at the complete bottom, bottom, bottom of the hospital, in the lower depths of hell in there. But it just depends on funeral home arrangements, if you have some or not, if the chaplain at the hospital will release the body or not. There's a whole mix of things. But yeah, it just depends. Every scenario is different, seriously.

Tim:

So do you think this was a good move for you? As far as what yeah, getting into like not really have any direction whenever you were oh, like work-wise and stuff like that, absolutely yeah because at the time I was.

Kevin:

I mean, the money's great and unfortunately we're the only species on the planet that's the pay to live in it so yeah, ain't that the fucking?

Kevin:

yeah, but no bullshit. If, if I could do this like as a charity or something, I absolutely would, yeah, that's, that's one of the reasons why I'm here, because I believe in this so much, man, you know and, and I don't, I don't have like a oh, I'm doing this because my cousin has an organ transplant. Like I don't have a story like that, like the only story I had of that is actually a really horrible story. So I do this because I love it so much. You know it's I help, even even like I don't really do organs, but what I do take of the tissue it helps save.

Kevin:

People live too mentally sometimes yeah, sure, yeah so so, yes, it was great yeah, that's cool, man, how long how long did it take for you?

Javier:

whenever you started? Did you feel like any like unease? Whenever you're starting this, starting this out the first week?

Kevin:

yeah, let's see. My. My oldest daughter was eight at the time. The week I had a dream I was doing it to her that I was cutting her up. Oh, that's wild. And I woke up in a cold sweat and I was crying like a fucking baby.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Kevin:

And I'm not joking. And two days later I got my first check and I was like I'm over that, it's okay now. But yeah, it was surreal, man, like when I told you about that guy that drowned, seeing my first case, that was my first case I was like, oh my.

Tim:

God dude. But yeah, and you get to travel all sorts of places, right?

Kevin:

Well, the company I work for now, yeah, I do like contract work now, so I do work, 1099 work but there's three banks here in town and there's a couple in Austin and Houston and San Antonio. So, yeah, yeah, but I travel to states Like I spent half a year in Minnesota and six months in California last year and yeah, it was cool man. So I hope to travel, so opportunities.

Tim:

right, Javier is checking the sound.

Javier:

Yeah, it's breaking up. A little bit it's breaking up, is it me?

Tim:

No, no, it could just be the feed.

Kevin:

It's all the ghosts of the people that I've cut up.

Javier:

Sorry.

Tim:

Yeah, it happens All right. So we've covered all that. Now I want to get into something that is near and dear to your heart, obviously.

Kevin:

Can I get some statistics?

Tim:

Yeah, go for it Before we get into the Rangers.

Kevin:

let's see, I do have a couple of statistics.

Tim:

Give us your statistics. One of the reasons.

Kevin:

I'm here, so okay, yes, okay. So every nine minutes someone's added to the list okay that's just in Texas, that's not nationwide, okay, okay. So every nine minutes somebody's told you need a life-saving organ. That's the bad thing. Also, 17 people die every day in Texas waiting on a list. That's why we're trying to recruit so much. So 17 people every day die we're looking at me am I gonna die?

Tim:

we were no, we were discussing this, uh. So, uh, I'm an organ donor. He's not, uh, but we were talking about that. We were talking about the misconception of like they won't save you. You know, if you, if something happens, they're just gonna let you die so they can get your organs okay.

Kevin:

So even if you're not an organ donor and let's say you're just gonna organ or donate tissue, right, so we're always talking about your skin, yeah. So let's say there's a burn victim of a five-year-old kid, your skin could save that kid's life. I would totally do that I think you can stipulate. You can say all I want to do is donate my corneas, all I want to do is donate this. You can say that too, okay, but even if you're registered, you need to know.

Kevin:

this is another thing, everybody needs to know, even if you're registered, we will still contact your next of kin for legal reasons, because there's been cases where families will come up and say, oh, we didn't let them, it's not so we will contact your next of kin. That's always going to happen. And then, if you haven't signed, it, they can decide what they want you to donate to.

Kevin:

So if you, if you have a plan, you can tell them hey, if this happens, I want this, this and this. That's it. Yeah, so you can stipulate what it is too. So you're all. There's always going to be precautions that we're going to take to make sure we honor the body, whatever.

Javier:

I'll ask my mom and see what she wants taken out of me. Oh, I'm saying this like I'm going to do it for everybody. What can?

Kevin:

she take out of me. Okay, so 107,000 are on the national waiting list, nationwide, nationwide. But if you take that plus the nine minutes somebody's added every day, that number shoots up all the time 10,000 Texans right now, currently, as of today, are on the waiting list Again, not including the nine 10,000?

Tim:

Oh wow.

Kevin:

Okay, and I told this earlier, 44% of adults in Texas are not registered. So if you're old enough to donate, please register.

Tim:

I'm a registered because I feel like I'm a hypocrite if I don't yeah, you're cutting on people, but yeah, you know you're not gonna get my shit like my wife.

Kevin:

My wife doesn't want to do, she's in it, so I got her in it too, and she doesn't want to do it. I'm just like, well, they're gonna call next to kenzo I'm gonna say it's okay, you know who's got power of?

Javier:

attorney. I mean hearing the facts, I mean my big thing and me and Tim talked about it before you got here was like, well, they're going to not take care of you as well if you're close to like.

Tim:

I think that maybe like years and years ago, whenever organ donation probably first kind of started. So it's interesting, because we were talking about this at work and, um, I have this. I have a co-worker, um, who's originally from mexico city, okay, and I have another co-worker who is uh who is, uh, hispanic as well, and they were both like yeah, we're not gonna be organ donors because they just let brown people die. What the fuck? No, and I'm like I they just let brown people die.

Kevin:

What the fuck no.

Tim:

And I'm like, I'm a brown people.

Kevin:

I was like I don't think that is accurate.

Tim:

Not at all Now, maybe because I mean the government did all sorts of fucked up shit like way back.

Kevin:

Yeah, don't get me started.

Speaker 1:

Right Right, we're not going to get started on that tonight.

Tim:

That'll be a whole nother episode but I don't think that's the case. No, now, because you know you have ethics committees and all that stuff and everything's really under uh scrutiny when it comes to the hospital systems in general yeah, no, it will go back to the next of kin or religion.

Kevin:

Yeah, that's that's it. Okay, that's that's it. And there are precautions, like if something happens and it's not the next of kin or something, then there are repercussions and stuff like that and companies can lose their license and credibility and all that shit. So yeah, yeah, yeah and hip is well, there's no more. What did he take away osha?

Javier:

he took away osha right he took away osha okay, so hip is just the uh it's the protection of privacy well, that's actually gone. That's no way.

Kevin:

Let's see he took that away too. I'm pretty sure the companies that I know and work for still follow those industry standards. So, because it's about integrity, you know, and we like to make sure that everything's honoring the donor, from when they get in our hands to when we hand them off. So you know, let's see you guys any other questions?

Javier:

yeah, do you think that with the current administration's health and human services cutbacks that this will be significant, that this will be significantly impacted?

Kevin:

yes, because of the osha standards being taken away.

Tim:

Yes, ridiculous yes, um, yeah, I do.

Javier:

I think I mean again, like you were saying it's with integrity that these people are doing it the way it needs to be done. So I'm sure even if they're rolled back, then I think the people that still do it will continue to do it in a way where they Like I tell people treat this as if this was your grandma.

Kevin:

Do you want your grandma being chopped up in a carne asada? Do you want her you know what I'm saying?

Tim:

like yeah, like that's what you need to do I mean I do the same thing on in my whenever I was, you know, teaching, you know new people on, uh, the ambulance stuff like that. Yeah, there's this whole thing where people get pissed off because they have to work. It's weird it's like you show up to work. You show up to work and you're mad because you have to work and um you know what you signed up for.

Tim:

I'm always like you can take it out on yourself, you can take it on your partner, you can take it out on whatever, but don't take it on the patient. You know, treat the patient with respect. They called you for service. They call. You know you're going out there to take care of this. You know that they they want to donate. You know their tissue or whatever the family wants to donate their tissue because they want to get back. Yes, you know, treat the person with dignity right.

Kevin:

If somebody's acting like they're doing this because it's a paycheck, I will call their ass out. I'm serious, I will call their ass out because it's not okay. Humility-wise, ethnic, you know sorry, I splintered all those other words Ethically, empathy, all that shit. It's not okay. It's just fucking not okay.

Javier:

It's like you said it's like what if it's just fucking not okay, and yeah, I've got a scalpel in my hand. It's like you said it's like what if it's your abuela? Yeah, and you're not just going to go in there and just go chop happy yeah. You know, so I mean, I guess it makes sense, yeah, so trying to think of Any other questions whatever.

Kevin:

That's why I'm here we can talk about.

Tim:

Your wife, says I wish he would hi baby I think that, uh, I think that cover, I think that covers all that, though I mean, it's good.

Kevin:

Um, like I said, I've been an organ donor since I was able to be an organ donor, um, and you deal with a lot because of what you do, so you see it all the time yeah, and if you know and I've got you know, I've got a personal story that goes along with it and everything.

Tim:

So if I can give back to somebody even though I don't think you want my heart at this point, man, I've got hypertension and all that stuff but you can take my tendons, you can take my, we do. You can take ligaments from me, that's fine. You want me to tell you what we take? I can tell you what we take.

Kevin:

Yeah, tell me what you take. Let's see the two bones here. What do they call them?

Tim:

Radial ulna.

Kevin:

Radial ulna Radius ulna.

Tim:

Yeah, the radius, yeah.

Kevin:

So your hemipelvis tib fib, femur. Achilles. We take the. What do we take, baby? Help me out. Sometimes we take the cartilage right here.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Kevin:

I will take a heart if it's a cardiac death. Okay, because you have the three that. So these three will save three babies.

Tim:

Oh really.

Kevin:

Like we could take a baby. A baby's heart's about that big. That heart will save three other babies and a bunch of tendons.

Javier:

Do those how many? You have four right. That are the four holes in your heart.

Tim:

If we have four chambers, you have four chambers and you have three ventricles.

Javier:

Okay, and so in those, if the heart is bad, then can you take some chamber and put it into.

Kevin:

What we would do is we would take, I don't know.

Tim:

Not quite. Hey, he tried.

Kevin:

Yeah, gotcha Well I didn't know what anatomy until I started doing this so we would take the entire heart as far and as far back as these rentals can go, and as long as they try to be at least three centimeters.

Tim:

And that's good for a graft top of your heart. Just to just kind of rough talk about it. You have your aorta that comes up and off and it has an aortic arch and then it's got basically three baffrications that come off that's what I take, okay, yeah so he's taking those little, the aortas.

Kevin:

Uh, the parts of the aorta goes into subclavians and then yeah, and when we put it, and okay, so when we put it back together. The last thing yeah so we do our best to we'll put prosthetics inside wooden okay, yeah, I gotcha and we'll try to make it look natural and then try to make a stitch sewing back up all the way back up so it looks as natural as possible in the casket and we try to be as respectful as we can that way too, when you have to understand.

Tim:

So I've got a friend of mine who, um, he was a paramedic for a long time and then he, um, he still is, but he also went to mortuary school too, because he wanted to learn to be a funeral home director I was like dude, that's crazy. But I mean people, it's needed, it's a needed service, right. But yeah, I mean once they're, once y'all are done with, with the, with the person, they're gonna get them and they're gonna make look even better they take everything we do out anyways. Really.

Kevin:

Like all the stitching and stuff, because they have to do the formaldehyde and all that stuff too, and they're preparations, but what we do is we help them not have a big ass mess.

Tim:

Right, so that's yeah. So they're going to go back and they're going to clean everything up and it's going to look good.

Javier:

Well, I have question. This may not be like something you might know, maybe.

Kevin:

Uh, is it true that there's a place in a man's head that if you shoot it it will blow up. What is this?

Javier:

a trick question because I can tell you stories of what I've seen I'm very no, I I don't want to ask that question because, like I've, I know, like I I usually check the uh metal medical examiners I've seen some shit, so I've heard, and maybe you don't know this, but if you don't use it, you lose it.

Speaker 1:

That's true, okay.

Javier:

Yeah, I mean that makes sense for organ donation. It does. If you don't use it you lose it. And not only do you lose it the patient loses it too.

Kevin:

So actually so what is it? So actually so? What is it? Donatelifetexasorg is where you sign up, please, and if you have any questions, you can contact me Quesoblanco81 at. What is it? Instagram, and that's all I do, really. I have a TikTok, but I've never posted anything. I just read hateful stuff about you know who yeah me too Okay.

Tim:

All right. So you, outside of doing the uh, the, the tissue and all that stuff, right, you are clearly an avid uh rangers fan I am the biggest you'll ever know yeah, because, all right, I, for those that are going to be listening to us, I can't see on, you know, because they're not going to watch us, because you don't like watching us on youtube which I don't blame you. We're all ugly um. Kevin here's got self-deprecation. Kevin here's got multiple ranger oriented tattoos.

Kevin:

He's got uh, you got the the trophy I've got the trophy with the peagle because the peagle was the first year we had the peagle. So power of the peagle dude.

Tim:

I like the people that was an eight hour tattoo right there that's beautiful.

Javier:

I think that's a very nice panther city tattoo oh yeah, shout out to them. They did our uh podcast tattoo oh cool yeah, so you got that.

Kevin:

You got the final scoreboard I have the final scoreboard with, uh, his quote rangers fans, you're not dreaming. And then he signed it and he was like why in the hell do you want to sign that? I was like, because you're, I've listened to you my whole life and you called the game bro and he took a picture before and after I had it.

Javier:

I saw that I loved it.

Tim:

But this game was, this whole thing was really important to you, and I think it's because I'm getting chills, because your dad right, my grandpa, your grandpa, yeah, my grandpa.

Kevin:

So I don't follow another sport, like I honestly don't give a shit about any other sport. Sport college nothing. I do baseball all year. Like in high school I lettered all four years in all sports to keep in shape for baseball, like it was. So I'm so baseball emotional, yeah, man uh, I waited 42 years for this shit yeah literally.

Tim:

So yes, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's a big thing. So I mean I don't have any sport that I feel that, like I don't know, if I have anything in my life that I feel that, yeah, it was because of my grandpa, like you said.

Kevin:

He was a World War II vet, d-day vet, and baseball was his life. He showed me how to play and he took me to my first game.

Javier:

Old Arlington Stadium.

Kevin:

Well, I still have scars on my leg from the bleachers.

Tim:

I remember the like. I think I went to one game before they tore that down.

Kevin:

Yeah, yeah, I went. He took me on my 21st birthday. We met Pudge that day. It was the last game he went to before he was healthy and able to. But yeah, that was our bond, and so I've never had a championship in my life.

Tim:

I don't have one. So this whole, this whole thing's, I mean, it's not just, uh, so all the the tattoos and everything, all the rangers, that that's not just a tribute to the, to the rangers themselves, but it's a tribute to your yeah, your granddad, my, my oldest daughter's, named after nolan.

Kevin:

Her name is ray lynn, his first name is lynn, okay and our three-year-old's named after beltré his name her name's adrian oh yeah and actually at the all-star game.

Kevin:

Have you seen my Facebook picture? It was me and my wife with him. So we were first in line to meet him and we got to tell him and me and my wife were just getting emotional, we were balling dude. And we told him and he was like, are you serious? And he shook my hand. The creepy thing was so. Her name is Camilla Jade, her middle name, his daughter, one of his daughters' name is Camilla daughter.

Tim:

One of his daughters name is camilla, and we didn't know.

Kevin:

No, we didn't, we didn't know. That's crazy, yeah. And then when we told him that's when he was like are you serious? Yeah, we didn't know, and we, when we found out her name, we both got chills, like I'm getting chills now like holy shit dude, yeah, so yeah, it was that's wild yeah it's, it's my identity.

Javier:

Yeah it, it is now.

Kevin:

I mean, this one was also special because we lived through that heartbreak in 2010 and october 27th also special because we lived through that heartbreak in 2010 and october 27th, october 27 2010 was when we went to the world series and then the worst day in game six was the worst day in team history and it's all gone now it is.

Javier:

It wipes everything. It wipes and and I don't know if, like I got, I left early because I didn't want to jinx. I was at the poor house when they moved to 7th street to walsh god damn, and so I left there early so I'm talking about 2011 2011. I left early so I can go be at home and watch you know well we were gonna win and um I got an alert from cnn that said texas Texas Rangers win the World. Series. It wasn't right after.

Kevin:

And then, and then the fucking. I would have broke my phone, I would have broke my fucking phone, yeah man.

Javier:

I mean, I still have pictures, I have video from being at work at T-Mobile, because I was still there at the time we were watching and listening that entire series. Yeah, we would watch at work too. Yeah that entire series we would watch at work too, and we didn't give a fuck about the customers. We were just like no, this is more important and the customers shouldn't have gave a fuck. Hell, no, what are you doing here? Why aren't you watching this?

Kevin:

game. I'm really superstitious like that. So, okay, no bullshit. The only playoff game that I watched was the Astros game where Altuve went off and they came back. That was the only game I watched, and that was because I was in minnesota. I was doing everything I could. It's a baseball town. I was at a bar and I walked in and they had it on the fucking screen. I was like fuck, I'm already here, I'm gonna eat dinner and I'm watching it and I'm fucking cuz and the bartender keeps. Condolences, man, condolences. I didn't watch any of the world series.

Kevin:

I don't watch anything really I don't know the last two games I was, I was in my man cave and my wife was screaming and yelling and shit. And then I think it was the last game, we went up in the seventh inning. I think Somebody hit a home run, was it Corey Seager? Somebody hit a home run in the seventh inning and she came, babe, babe. I said are we winning? She said yeah. I said let's go. She said what are you talking about? I said let's go to Academy over with it's over. And then when we got there I was just a radio and that's when simeon hit that three run homer and I was just I wanted to go streaking dude.

Kevin:

I was like it was cold as shit, I don't know yeah so it's a superstitious thing for you.

Tim:

You're not gonna like we're in the world series you're not gonna watch it.

Kevin:

Well, it depends on how, what I did the first game okay, yeah, of the playoffs, okay, gotcha uh, yeah, dude, I'm rose baseball dude, I understand, I mean the only the only game I didn't watch that entire playoff run was game six against houston.

Javier:

I didn't watch because I game five. We were. We lost game five. That's the game I'm talking about. That I watched, yeah when they came back.

Kevin:

Game six, no, game five.

Javier:

Yeah, yeah, yeah fuck, god damn, like I I so I was so angry, I was like if I watch, we're gonna lose.

Tim:

I didn't. I didn't watch any of it. Um, we were. I was at a, I was at a party and they had it on and we were at a we're at tara oh no, but that was the world series game two.

Javier:

That was game two, world series.

Tim:

Right, we lost and we lost and I was like I don't need to watch this anymore, because I felt I felt it was because I was watching it because, I've had these, I've had these times where um. So I I like the mavs.

Kevin:

Well, I don't like the mavs now that's a whole nother story. Yeah, I'm, I'm mad at nico too, that's.

Tim:

That's a that's a whole nother story, anyways, but I like the, I like, I like the mavs, I liked the mavs and, um, I was enjoying, uh, watching them, but I I turned the tv on and all of a sudden we're like we were doing good. You know the previous games and this game that I decided to watch. We're just sucking so bad. So then I don't want to watch it because I feel like as long as I don't watch it.

Kevin:

We're gonna do okay no yeah, I have that whole silver linings playbook thing where it's like, okay, you gotta sit right here, you know, and dude, 2011, I was on my couch and if we, if we scored a home run, I did not move until we got outs or didn't score an inning or something.

Tim:

I did not fucking move on my couch, yeah there's a lot of there's asking are you talking about the uh astros postseason game when the bench is cleared?

Kevin:

oh, whenever they hit a uh a bully when, uh, when all they did was wake up the astros.

Tim:

Yeah, it was induced. No, it wasn't that game, so I I drove down, I drove all the way down to um. I drove down to houston, okay, um to eat at to eat at an old school Pizza Hut buffet.

Javier:

Oh okay, it was the old school building.

Tim:

They still had a buffet, found out. They only do it on Monday through Friday.

Javier:

So we get down there Like for lunch or something.

Tim:

Yeah, it's a Saturday, oh, okay, so we had to order pizza, but we went down there for that, and then the Rangers were also playing the Astros, and so we went and saw um the rangers play down there I haven't fucking like. I like the stadium. The stadium's beautiful, it's, it's, it's great. You're sitting like where we sat at. You're looking out these big windows that overlooks downtown like it does, oh yeah okay, yeah, the stadium's great. Yeah, I've never been the astro fans. I don't think you'd ever want to go I.

Kevin:

I used to hate the yankees because of their fans, yeah, but the astro fans are the worst fucking fans. You know why? Because all of a sudden, for 10 years they were good, and before that they weren't shit, so now they're all.

Javier:

Oh fuck, you know like maybe a couple pictures from like 98.

Kevin:

Yes, yeah, yeah you know, like the whole silver boot thing, we won the silver boot almost every year until they started getting good Like yeah and no, fuck, fuck that.

Tim:

But I will say I mean it's a beautiful stadium, like it really is.

Kevin:

Is it comparable to ours? That's what I haven't.

Tim:

I haven't been to ours yet.

Kevin:

We're going. I'm going yeah, we got a month, ok of the month. Oh, okay. I was like, well, fuck, actually I have a ticket we're going for a.

Tim:

I have an extra ticket. Friday we're doing a man I gotta work. Friday we're doing Glizzy. We're doing a Glizzy day.

Kevin:

You gotta go get a Glizzy ticket. Oh, is it like Dollar Hot Dog kind of stuff?

Tim:

They're giving Glizzy hats.

Kevin:

Yeah, the golf hat.

Javier:

I did see those.

Kevin:

Oh yeah.

Tim:

So I got tickets for that. And I got tickets for it because I'm also a Stars fan and I'm doing Stars night because I want to get that jersey.

Kevin:

That jersey is fucking sick. I got the Peacock jersey last year. Oh my God. The Stars jersey. Yeah, the new one, the one that released this year, it's white.

Javier:

It's the cream, this one's the cream with the TX. This, yeah, of course. Son of a bitch.

Kevin:

This was the first year I got every giveaway I wanted to get ever. It was the first year I ever did. I've got a whole fucking shelf at the house, dude.

Javier:

It's so cool. This is going to be our fourth year going on Mexican Heritage Night, where we get the jersey.

Tim:

The jersey last year was bad. I like this year's jersey better. I think I haven't seen it, Is it?

Kevin:

the multicolored one this year.

Javier:

No man I have to pull it up, but I have all three. I think the first year I got was red, the second was a black but the material was pretty bad, but the one from last year was it was gold, right, yeah, gold trim, black with gold trim.

Kevin:

That's it, yes, that thing was so fucking baller.

Kevin:

And you know what's badass about the giveaway jerseys? Now, they were better than those shitty Nike jerseys that were wearing last year. You know that shit, that's ridiculous. Um, so, on my on my world series thing. So I I bought a patch of a one square foot patch of turf the outfield turf, because they they change them every two years. Yeah, so it says on there this was an all-star game, this was a world series also. So I actually bought a uh, a trophy from a company, I don't remember what it's called Bradford exchange or something like that, whatever it's. I've got that on there like that, with a Bochy ring and a a season ticket holder ring and then Corey Seeger's bobblehead where he's screaming. That's yeah.

Kevin:

That's my centerpiece of the world series thing. There, dude, and I did. I had flags on the front of my house and, uh, the fat, you know the fat heads, right, yeah? So I bought these big ass fat heads and I put them on my car window, dude, like they're not supposed to go in your car window, but I took over my fucking hole yeah dude, I don't give a fuck. I don't need to see anything I still got my flag.

Javier:

I haven't unfurled. I want to put in my garage, but yeah, I have no room to put it.

Kevin:

Yeah unfortunately they fade, because I went to california last year for work and I came back and they were like TCU purple.

Javier:

Really.

Kevin:

Yeah, dude, it sucks. They're like 35 bucks. I gotta replace them.

Javier:

On the group chat let's see. After the news broke in 2017, I cannot fucking be around them, minus one friend. I guess we're talking about Houston 2017?.

Tim:

That's a glizzy hat. That's a glizzy hat. Yeah, the glizzy hat's good.

Javier:

So gee Gladys, she's a Dodgers fan. I'm sorry, and so obviously the year oh 2017.

Kevin:

I see now, okay, condolences, but it's okay because y'all have like three or four rings and y'all have Otani. You got the best lineup in baseball right now and one of the best rotations, and still have Kershaw who won't fucking retire.

Javier:

This is his last contract. I think this is going to be his last two years.

Kevin:

Scherzer's got to retire. I thought he should retire last year, but it's okay.

Javier:

He can still get a check though.

Kevin:

No, yeah, no, dude, he still makes a shit ton of money from the Nationals, bro. Yeah, I actually got to see him pitch. Okay, long story short, he came up and was like we got to get him. We got to get him. It never fucking happened, right. So we got him in 2023. I was all happy. We traded for him. When I was in Minnesota, I planned one of my work trips because the Rangers were there and I got to see him fucking pitch. My only time I ever saw him pitch was a win that day and I was like, fuck, yes, I got to saw my favorite pitcher pitch man.

Javier:

It was great man. And now we uh, we're doing good. The season's been. We've only got two losses. I know the other night we was it was a 14 to 3.

Kevin:

Yeah, because uh dela cruz has one of them tornado bats man, so so now we're gonna get this change.

Javier:

It's gonna be uh, that's I kind of like it, that's serapi uh, yeah, I like that.

Tim:

I like I'm down for that. I kind of want to get that.

Kevin:

My old lady's going to like that.

Tim:

I feel like I shouldn't wear it, though, because I'm culturally appropriating or whatever you have the molest dash.

Kevin:

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine, my wife was like who's going to be there? I was like, well, you'll see Javier and Tim.

Tim:

And she said the Asian Heritage Night one looks pretty good too. Is it coming with chopsticks? No, dude but it's got a big old snake on the back of it.

Kevin:

That's pretty sick. That's some Cobra Kai shit. Yeah, I like it, I like it.

Javier:

You're the I would fucking. Now I need to go through and check and see which of these is sold out or not, because we always, whenever we go to the Mexican Heritage Night, we always go with a group of ranger fans that have been going for like the longest time and, um, they always get the these tickets always like the mexican heritage night.

Kevin:

Is that also the? I? I should know this. Is that also the extra ticket you got to buy like a? Theme night ticket, but you have to buy okay those are the things I don't get, because I can always find those on second market yeah for most of the time pretty cheap, you know. So, like this year, I don't ever get the Whataburger jersey, but Burger is the jersey they're using.

Javier:

Oh yeah, so that's fucking happening. Speaking of which, one of the funniest names of a player is Jake Burger.

Kevin:

Jake Burger If his nickname isn't Cheese. It's an astonishing travesty to our English language. And Whatab and water burger better like pick them up as a sponsor and every time he hits a home run like if it's a single home run he should be he hit a burger, double cheeseburger, triple cheeseburger, you know they should be doing a giveaway for like, if he hits you know, yeah if he hits a home run of six, you get a double cheeseburger.

Javier:

Yeah it's kind of like the. There's a player on like the miami heat. Every time he scores his name is like timmy something, and people were like that we don't know if that's right or not. I don't know how, uh, we didn't fucking do that if he scores.

Kevin:

If he scores 50, you get a free handicap wheelchair rental the stream what our stream keeps dropping.

Tim:

I'm gonna work on that.

Kevin:

Y'all keep talking okay, so dildos and assholes dildos and ass.

Javier:

There should what'sos and assholes. What's that song? Was it George Strait that sings it? Guitars and Cadillacs.

Kevin:

No, that's Dwight Yoakam. Dwight Yoakam, he didn't write it, but that's yeah, it should be dildos and dinosaurs. Something funny like that. Dildos and Cadillacs Slap her in her ass.

Javier:

So, speaking of which I know this is going to be, we'll link this up with some notes, but it's still recording.

Kevin:

Right, it's still recording Audio. Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm naked. We just can't be racist, because racism gets you canceled?

Javier:

No, not really.

Kevin:

No, I mean no, yeah, you can lead the country.

Javier:

Yeah, absolutely, you can lie, cheat and steal. If Eddie Guerrero was still alive then he would probably run um. But yeah, no I I think um baseball has gotten better. Last year wasn't so good because all the injuries for us.

Kevin:

For us, yeah, um, it was really bad. We've had actually had worse years in injuries, in injuries. But yeah, last year was world series hangover or not.

Javier:

Yeah, if you have that many injuries, you're not gonna fucking, you're not gonna do anything you're not gonna go anywhere, which, so you know I mean the same thing, and and the the season I love talking about is the 09 season yeah, and I love that season because we had a chance that final game, I think was against the the.

Javier:

Was it the red sox? We were supposed to win the last game of the season and they had us like. So we were, we were gonna, we're supposed to win to make the playoffs and um oh, nine, right, oh, it was them. Or the mariners, I think but we were supposed to win against the red socks in order to make it in and we just had such a good squad and they were saying well, this next year this rangers team has a chance yeah, to make it.

Kevin:

that was right before josh hamilton blew up like he was here, but it was before he became our Babe Ruth, yeah.

Javier:

Yeah, and then that 2010 was a magical season. We went the way we, and the stadium is a great sign of winning that the temple man, dude.

Kevin:

There needs to be a documentary about that year, because that's the year that Tom Hicks, the fucking douchest bag ever, sold the team. Well, he lost the team and the league owned it. And then it went to auction downtown fort worth and mark cuban and nolan ryan are going back and forth till four o'clock in the morning bidding on the fucking team, like why is there not a documentary about this shit? I was following this shit on twitter back then because there was reporters in there. They were seriously going back and forth to buy the rangers. Can you imagine if, mark cuban on the fucking rangers dude, we'd have moved to dallas? I would have not been a fan yeah, they've been wild, that, yeah, yeah you know, but it was.

Kevin:

It was tom hicks, that josh hamilton going through his shit. You know there was injuries that year too up and it was.

Tim:

That was a crazy fucking year, dude do you remember, uh, the old ballpark, whenever, not not the first one, but the the temple do you remember whenever there was those guys that fell from like one of the balconies?

Kevin:

that was Josh Hamilton caught a ball and that guy was a fireman and there's actually there's a statue of him at the ballpark. Yeah, so there's.

Tim:

He threw a ball there was two of them. There was two people.

Kevin:

There's two people that fell on the same time, no different times. There was two people.

Tim:

Yeah, one person died who was a fire that's the guy I'm thinking about.

Kevin:

Yep, I actually met josh hamilton the day after that yeah, so there was.

Tim:

There was one dude that died. That was a firefighter. The other person that fell was also a firefighter like in the same. Like in the same same type of situation kind of um, not drunk, uh, something, I can't remember what he wasn't reaching for a ball yeah it was something else. Anyways, the same year, uh, yeah, um, yeah, what the fuck. Yeah, so he fell um and whenever he fell he fell like 30 feet. Um, yeah, he lived. I know the guy uh you know the dude I know the dude, um anyways.

Tim:

So here's what's crazy, is that so this guy falls, he dies or nothing. That falls and dies, but he falls, gets injured, all that. So it was caught on camera by the other team.

Javier:

Do you remember who it was?

Tim:

I cannot remember, but the other team's got it on camera on film. After he got out of the hospital, everything was okay. He was brought up to the ballpark, him, and the guys from his shift came up there with him. He was able to watch it as many times as he wanted to. The film of him falling, yep, and then um, and then that was it.

Tim:

that film's gone like oh, no shit, yep yeah, oh, so it happened to be caught on their cameras or whatever that they were. Yeah, it wasn't caught by, uh, any feed like espn or anything like that so you think there's no copy of this anymore? No, unless somebody happened to be filming it or something, or whatever. Anyways Well, what year was that, Dude? I'd have to look.

Kevin:

It would be too grainy. If it was a camera phone, yeah, it would.

Javier:

The quality wouldn't have been it wasn't a Samsung flip phone, yeah maybe what year?

Kevin:

was that that had to be? It was 2010 or 11 is when it was.

Tim:

So he's out fishing one day after this happens, he's better and everything's good and life's good. And he gets a phone call and he answers it. He doesn't recognize the number. He answers the phone number and he's like hey, so-and-so, this is Nolan Ryan. He's like shut your mouth. So he was like no, it's not, it hung up on him.

Kevin:

That's a good impression, son. So he was like no, it's not. And hung up on him. That's a good impression, son.

Tim:

That's what I would say Like hung up on him, like straight up hung up on him, calls him back. He's like no, this is actually Nolan Ryan. It's Nolan Ryan, and yeah, so while Nolan still was really involved in the team he actually had, so he was giving lifetime tickets.

Kevin:

I was going to say did he get season tickets or something?

Tim:

Dude like for life, sitting like down by where, basically where George W goes to sit when Nolan would sit, basically Down in that area Damn, that's really good.

Kevin:

I wonder if they transferred to the team.

Tim:

I don't think they did. No, yeah, I don't think they did.

Kevin:

Because I know they compensated for that other guy's funeral and they paid for his son's college or some shit like it. They, they hooked him up, man. So are there any ranger questions? I'd like to answer some ranger questions is there any ranger questions?

Javier:

I can't. Yes, there you go um.

Tim:

So a male fan fell off the club level in section 235 onto the lower deck oh yeah, so he hit this like um he said he, he what he remembered fault whenever he remembered falling um, everything got real silent before he hit like the adrenaline. Whatever he remembers that he just remembers this loud pop which was the um like. Whenever he came off he grabbed, like tried to grab the, the cable or whatever and it just.

Tim:

No, it just the cable popped, like it just made a real loud sound. Yeah, yeah, so it was. It was just wild that he uh yeah, nolan ryan calls him up and uh that's fucking dope, but it's funny he hung up on nolan ryan.

Kevin:

Yeah, I would have passed, I mean, but think about it. If somebody says they're nolan ryan, you're not gonna be like, okay, who the fuck is this? No, I'd have been the same thing.

Javier:

Sure, gary, fuck you. You're a fucking liar.

Kevin:

You don't even know a Gary, you're just like okay, gary, all right, so I've got a question for you.

Tim:

Whatever. So what makes Rangers fans different from the other Texas sports fans?

Kevin:

Before 2023, it was the. Okay. I'm not trying to be a dick, but you know how it's been 30 years for the Cowboys, yeah, yeah.

Kevin:

Imagine going through that, never having a championship ever for the team Times infinity Right. Because, well, like people like me who don't follow another sport, this kind of fucked up. What I say most Ranger fans are are fair weather fans that always root for the Cowboys, no matter what those fans that always root for the cowboys, no matter what those fans that you're two and ten and we're still going to the superbowl. Those are the most of the fans that are cow or that are rangers fans. That's one of the things I think is different. The other thing is this this is not a baseball town it's, it's really it's not it's not even with the world series and shit, blah blah.

Kevin:

Like the cowboys suck this year. But the Cowboys are going to be.

Tim:

I mean you look at like Chicago Wrigley Field. Oh yeah, gorgeous.

Kevin:

Baseball town Dude baseball baseball town. I went there, the same thing like the Yankees. I mean, I hate the Yankees, but New York, that's a fun one. New York, boston Like I said, I was in Minneapolis Baseball baseball. If you're a Rangers fan here, you're a Rangers fan, rangers fan, but you also like everything else. That's the thing Sure.

Kevin:

There are Cubs fans like me that fuck every other sport. It's Cubs, cubs, cubs. That's it. That's your life and that's. You know, eddie, what's up? Eddie, he's like me. We don't like anything else, you know, that's it. But there's not a lot of people like us. So Ranger fans are few and far between that are diehard fucking, you know, just bummer. So that's what's different. It's because of the Cowboys, is what's different. And it sucks.

Javier:

I think the group that we're friends with, like they're pretty old.

Kevin:

They're in, they're like early, late 50s I will say don't say my they're in their late 50s like early 60s.

Javier:

I think I want to say I don't want to be disrespectful, and one of them is uh one of them is uh, she is uh. What is that for? Fort worth isd. She's one of the council members. Her family, super nintendo super nintendo chalmers. Um, but they, they're fucking die hard. They go every year and they go to as many games as they can yeah every theme night that they can go to and I just like you're right, you're. If you're a fan, if you're an actual fan, that's it that's it, you don't care about any.

Javier:

You don't care about the cowboys, you don't care about the stars like the mavericks, not being a cowboy fan.

Kevin:

Being from here is one of the hardest fucking things I've had to deal with, because I've actually had girlfriends where their family found out I hated the cowboys and they were telling you better leave him like for real. For real, you need to leave him alone because he doesn't like cowboys.

Tim:

It's ridiculous, it's like a cult dude, it's true, really is. I tried. So I tried to get our friend group to all right this year. For football we all commit to a different team. It can't be Kansas City, because it can't be any team that went to the Super Bowl.

Kevin:

So Bengals Browns?

Tim:

No, no, no, no, no you can go for the ones that have been to the Super Bowl. I'm just talking about no Kansas City and what's it? Why is my mind?

Javier:

blank who they?

Tim:

played? Who did Kansas City play the Eagles?

Javier:

Oh, fuck the Eagles. I mean fuck them, Fuck Philly.

Tim:

No Kansas City, no Eagles right.

Javier:

Fucking Philly.

Tim:

You got to pick a fresh team. You had to pick a fresh team for this year. You're gonna commit fully. You're gonna buy the merch, you're gonna follow the team you're gonna, you're gonna commit for this for this year, right, okay, and this motherfucker's like I can't do it.

Javier:

I can't do it. I was spoiled, religious.

Kevin:

I was fucking spoiled we got three championships exactly eggs. I was alive for that shit and even back then I didn't like football, but I was like man but we've been abused.

Tim:

If you're cowboys, you've been abused this entire time by jerry jones and it's time to basically tell the dude you know, fuck off the old saying of jerry the.

Kevin:

What is it? Jerry the gm needs to find, jerry the boss needs to fire jerry the gm, something shit like that, like.

Javier:

My first sports cry was uh, nfc championship 94, green bay, no, uh, um san francisco oh yeah, that was a good game. That was my first fucking cry, sports cry yeah, and what?

Kevin:

so? You're like 10 years younger than me, right? You're 34, 39 to 39 okay, so about five years, so yeah, so I mean, that was my first memory.

Javier:

Like was the the super bowl, um? And the only reason I remember is because they had the blue and silver m&ms and I was like this is cool. Let's watch this game, and so that was the first football game that I ever saw was that super bowl.

Javier:

Yeah, because of the m&ms yes, and like after that I boom got to get the fucking starter jacket, like. And I still remember Super Bowl 30 when I was in fifth grade and I remember the school was like putting banners up like we were. We were put, I wrote the boys are back in the bowl and shit like that. Yeah, looking back, fuck me.

Tim:

Fuck myself. Yeah, so I'm a. You know on Football Talk, I'm going to commit to the old cheeseheads, Okay.

Javier:

Jordan Love's a good quarterback.

Tim:

Yeah, I'm going to commit to them. We go basketball real quick. I'm not a fan of the Mavs anymore. I don't think anybody is, no one's a fan of the Mavs anymore, and you know what sucks.

Kevin:

What's really stupid is they traded Luka and then raised the fucking prices. What the dumb shit. You're going backwards. I'm not even a fan and I'm like you, dumb motherfucker. He's averaging a triple-double, he averages a triple-double and you're going to trade him for eyebrows.

Javier:

Yeah, it was stupid. I said this three years ago that he was going to go to the lakers, like whenever he signed his super max contract because look, mark would have paid the super max.

Kevin:

Fuck yeah, he would have, he wouldn't. He wouldn't even waited for him to ask him. He would have been like, hey, here, your contract's ready, you're ready to sign it. Yeah, no, sorry to interrupt you.

Tim:

No, you're good, you're good, um, so I just said I'm trying to convince him just commit to another team this year uh, if I'm gonna look, gladys says raiders, okay, go raiders.

Kevin:

I mean, but oakland or la, it depends on how far back you go oakland, la, or now las vegas yeah, oh, yeah, that's right I mean, if you're gonna be real, you gotta be oakland, right?

Javier:

yeah, you gotta be, you gotta be ice cube, ice cube, uh raiders you gotta be yeah so funny story um the.

Kevin:

When I was growing up, you reminded me of your Super Bowl story. The first NBA team I ever knew of was the Celtics. Because of growing up in the 90s watching Cheers with my mom, I'm serious. Yeah, and so I followed the Celtics all the way up until I was almost-.

Tim:

So if it's not the Mavs, it's the Celtics. Yeah, so if it's not the Mavs, it's the Celtics.

Kevin:

Yeah, yeah. And also no bullshit. The Red Sox? The same fucking reason. Because Sam Malone man, sam Malone dude. Yeah, I'm a Larry Bird fan.

Tim:

Yeah, I don't know if you I mean you love baseball, baseball's your whole thing I would implore you to watch. There's a documentary on HBO and it's about Larry Bird and Matthew Johnson.

Kevin:

It's fucking great.

Tim:

I know other sports, I know, but just the trash talking oh man. And he can back it up. That was the thing he can trash talk and back it up.

Kevin:

Dude. He was better at that than Iverson and Dennis Rodman 100%, oh my.

Tim:

God, dennis Rodman couldn't back it up. He was good, but he didn't have the gumption that you had with Larry Bird. He was good, but he didn't have the gumption that you had with Larry Bird.

Kevin:

No, he had the elbows. Yeah, he sure did. He averaged like a half a point a game and made millions and millions.

Tim:

I met Dennis Robin. One time Dress or no dress. Dress 100% dress. No bullshit, no bullshit, 100% dress with two other people that were in dresses that were just as tall and just as big as he is.

Kevin:

But they weren't players. They just no, no, they just they were out and it was in vegas.

Tim:

I was at the um went to las vegas is my first time going to las vegas. We were staying at treasure island. I think he owned a club that was at treasure island and that's why he was there or something. Anyways, I'm walking through the thing and I look and I'm like holy shit, you're dennis robin. He just kind of looks at me. He's like yeah, I am, and and that was our internet, that was a bunch of interaction, but he smiled at me, said yeah, and he just walked out. But he's a full-on fucking drag no shit.

Kevin:

Oh yeah, yeah, that was his mo man, okay. So I have a question then who's the most famous people y'all have ever met like legitimately met dude, legitimately? Met and actually had, like, not a conversation, but just like you actually spoke to them for not and this doesn't include going to a concert and paying to get backstage on. It was bullshit, Like no.

Tim:

Well, we know you're.

Javier:

I'm not going to say Kanye, because it's yeah, I remember that, but I mean that's probably like one of the famous, more famous people you've met.

Kevin:

Yeah, and that was when was it cheaper than dirt?

Javier:

Where was it at oh Defender Outdoors over there, by where I work on University?

Kevin:

Oh, that's okay, yeah, yeah.

Javier:

But Donald Glover, because I actually had a conversation with him. Childish campaign yeah, yeah, and I was drunk and it was at the Bud Light Hotel. Anthony invited me to the Bud Light Hotel Super Bowl party.

Kevin:

When the Super Bowl was here. Yeah, oh God, I have a story about that. Dude, I can't think of-.

Javier:

I'm like Forrest Gump dude Bro, what a week that was.

Kevin:

I used to work security at the stadium and that was my last game I worked was the Super Bowl. No shit, one of the worst fucking days of my life.

Tim:

I imagine, yes, that's going to be a nightmare.

Javier:

It was like a 21-hour. That's the only week I'm like fucking.

Tim:

Tammy, here we go.

Javier:

That was the only week you could drive drunk and get away with it.

Kevin:

There was no cops anywhere, bro, and the ice, it was ice everywhere. I actually got in a wreck like two days before Super Bowl because this dude T-boned me. He went to a stop and then he just went, kept going and just boom hit me like this Dude.

Javier:

that was like every night that week because I still going to tcc I'm trying to I'm trying to think, man, though I can't like I.

Tim:

I mean I met dennis robbins, just a quick conversation, um. I mean I met the lead singer to tody's a bunch of times that is cool shit.

Kevin:

I see him at the rodeo goat all the time. He loves it really. Yeah, he's got an old man.

Speaker 1:

He's got an old.

Javier:

Yeah, he still rocks it out, though he does he does um but no, that was because I I was on espPN every day that week yeah, I was on TV.

Kevin:

Oh, downtown, yeah, that's kick-ass dude, that's fucking they set up shots behind me.

Javier:

No shit, they fuck you because you know, I had that big red, obnoxious cowboy hat foam. How about cowboy? And they, they were giving him away. Oh my shit, I was in the very front like is it the NFC?

Kevin:

because that's their NFC color, like red, or I don't remember how I got it, but I do remember it was huge.

Javier:

I have the picture and I took pictures with a bunch of people on ESPN and I had Michelle Beadle sign the back of my phone and there's pictures of her. Like I don't want to sign your phone, I'm going to use it, but every day that week I was on TV.

Kevin:

That's fucking kick-ass, dude On. Espn, that's fucking kick-ass dude. Now when I tell you I'm not going to include Super Bowl, because I was there working and my entrance was a celebrity entrance, so I touched a bunch of people and stuff, so I'm not going to count that because it was violating me.

Tim:

I can't think of Nicki Minaj.

Kevin:

Nicki Minaj? Yeah, I don't know who she was at the time.

Javier:

I can't think of oh no, that's weird.

Tim:

I don't want to smell anybody. I can't think of anybody man. I can't think of a single person there's gotta be somebody there has to be. I mean Ed Ed Tuttle Jones.

Kevin:

I met him that's dude, that's big, that's big time, ed actually had a conversation with dude.

Tim:

I actually met him at Best Buy. Oh, no shit, he was doing a book signing. It was weird when we sold books there. So I met Ed what the fuck.

Javier:

We sold books there. Yeah, dude, did you meet Kelly Clarkson whenever she went over there?

Kevin:

No, I didn't meet her. I saw her.

Tim:

Met.

Kevin:

Pat Green. I saw Pat Green there.

Tim:

Dude, I met Sean Patrick that from uh boondock saints he was not norman reedus, the opposite of norman reedus.

Kevin:

Um sean patrick flannery um again, you're the guy from that thing that I know.

Tim:

Yeah I'm trying to think, uh, I mean, it was still like a little, just conversation um tough heateman uh met him.

Speaker 1:

Oh, tough I've met, tough I.

Kevin:

I know that guy. He's like 5'4".

Tim:

He's not a real. I mean, most bull riders are pretty short yeah.

Kevin:

Not a real big guy.

Tim:

Cody Lambert, famous bull rider.

Speaker 1:

Steve Burkle.

Tim:

Established PBR. I've met him. Yeah, I mean, I met those random people.

Kevin:

Actually Super Bowl.

Tim:

I didn't meet him but I saw screech. I used to work at target down that one on seventh.

Kevin:

Yeah, dustin old, dustin diamond yeah, that was like I think that was like two or three months before he died. Oh god, yeah, he was out there drunk like he was walking in our parking lot drunk and I was security and I they were telling me go. I was like that's screech, I'm not gonna tell screech to leave no, you tell him dude.

Javier:

I was like let me, let me be fucking drunk his big old porn, diggler dick, you know what?

Kevin:

I'm saying he's a porn star. God damn Fucking. Third leg.

Javier:

It's still out there. Let's see Different sports question.

Speaker 1:

Do you?

Javier:

all think the FIFA may pull out of the World Cup being hosted in the US, all I know is. I heard pull out and I don't know what that is. I'm going to say no because Infantino, the guy who runs FIFA. Now we got the Club World Cup happening, I think at the end of the year, and old Trumpy boys got the trophy sitting in his office next to that goddamn shitty. I was going to say Bank of America, gulf of America, picture he's got.

Kevin:

The Declaration of Independence. I bet he thinks it's the real one. That's why he's got a drapes over it.

Javier:

They got a movie named National Treasure.

Tim:

And this is from the movie National.

Javier:

Treasure. Nicolas Cage stole it and I have it here in my office. What?

Kevin:

am FIFA? I don't know, it's not baseball, oh yeah, no.

Javier:

So I mean you've met him. What's the? You said Nicki Minaj, but what else? Well, okay.

Kevin:

Well, I had to frisk people in the Super Bowl, and that was one. I didn't know who the fuck she was. I'm not, I wasn't, I'm still not, attracted to her man. What's that?

Javier:

in your ass.

Kevin:

Well, this guy another guy that was working with him, a cow looking at a new gate, like uh-huh, he's like nicky, but he kept saying it, like like I'm know who the fuck she is if she, he kept saying her name, I'm like I don't know who the fuck that is, dude, I'm sorry, and I turn around and jason whitton's right there I mean, I met the, I've met, uh, I met the guys for uh well, they're rip, but uh uh, diamond vinnie for pantera okay, I have actually that's one of mine.

Kevin:

I have a story. It's a lifelong story, but I mean just met.

Tim:

What's his face? Jarrett Reddick, from Bowling for Soup.

Kevin:

Oh, that's the big dude, right, yeah, the big big dude. Yeah, yeah, he's cool, he's a lead singer.

Tim:

Yeah, met him several times now, but met him several times now.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, I mean, yeah, some other bands and stuff, like I didn't pay to meet them.

Tim:

They just right um. I played pool with the guys from yellow card, but it was random, like we were, so I was at, uh, I was at the ridgely theater and um yellow card was just. They just released their very first album it's before ocean avenue and all that is this best by days?

Kevin:

uh, it had to be because ocean avenue came out in like 03.

Tim:

Yeah, probably it was around that time I was at the Ridgely with one of my buddies, rip Zach King, and he liked to play pool. So we were playing pool up there and these guys wanted to play doubles. So we were playing and we didn't know who they were. And then we were there for another band and then out comes two of the guys from yellow or yellow card. You knew, like you, you recognize their faces and shit. I didn't know. And not then I had no idea who they were. Yeah, I had no idea. We weren't there for yellow card, who was opening, who was the headlining, that we were there for another band and, um, yeah, I just happened to be playing with them like I don't know their music or whatever, but if somebody told me I was, oh, that's cool, it's famous, you know, you know it's probably shitty, but I don't know.

Kevin:

Okay, uh, so I have a couple, more than a couple, but so, pantera, um, I went to. I went to junior high in gun, junior high in arlington, and uh, this is back when, uh, cowboys from hell had just come out their first album.

Tim:

Yes, and like 91 ish 90, 91, 92.

Kevin:

Yeah, so we used to play pencil break. Y'all remember pencil break, okay? So we used to play pencil break in the front of the school and we would all get there like 30, 40 minutes before school to fucking play pencil break and we would go to toys r us to buy the expensive pencils, the pentek pencils, okay, anyways, long story short, we're outside playing and it's I'll never forget, because it's school picture day and my dumb fuck ass has the I don't know if y'all remember the brooks and dunn flame shirt yes.

Kevin:

I had that fucking shit on getting ready for pictures right, and playing pencil break runner and then we hear this fucking loud ass fucking music coming right and there's this single short bed Chevy that's blaring fucking metal music. We don't know who the fuck it is and it's four dudes all bearded out and shit and Dimebag I don't know if it was Dimebag at the the time. He's out of the truck and he's got his camera. He's like, yeah, motherfucker, fuck, yeah, everyone, fuck school, fuck the vice principal. You're like, yeah, okay. So he walked up to us and he came out and he was shaking our hands and shit. We don't know who the fuck he is right. A week later that video was on MTV and I'm like what the fuck?

Speaker 1:

that's me, holy shit.

Kevin:

You can see my gay ass, brooks and Dunn shirt with fucking pencils and shit, right, so that was one, uh. The second one was that the next two are kind of weird because they're kind of the same scenario, which is really weird when you hear it. So the first one was paul rodriguez the comedian.

Javier:

Oh yeah, yeah, big fan of his son who's his son is paul rodriguez jr. He's a skater anyways.

Kevin:

Um so I don't. You're probably too young to remember desperados. It was a bar club I do remember desperados.

Javier:

I never offer 360. I was too young for that. I think it's cowboy it was it turned to cowboys.

Kevin:

No, cowboys is down the street on pioneer parkway, um. So this was basically the billy bobs of the hana music it size, almost anyways. So he did a show in town and he was there on. It was on Thursday nights. It was Wine Me Diamond, 6 to 9 every night, and for minors it didn't count because we couldn't drink. But he was there and I was like holy shit, it's Paul Rodriguez.

Kevin:

And I went to the bathroom and I ended up peeing next to Paul Rodriguez and I'm like, oh shit, I don't want him to think I'm looking at his dick. So we go up to the sink and I'm, and before he can wash his hand, this one dude walks in and he's like holy shit. And he stuck his hand. He's like I just touched my dick. Man, you wanna shake my hand? He's like, fuck, yeah, I wanna shake your. And then we went outside and I made sure to like let him see me wash my hands. And I walked up with him. I was like, hey, I don't want to be a dick. Draw attention to myself, how you doing nobody. He was like thank you for being cool man, he bought me a drink. It was cool as shit, dude.

Kevin:

Yeah, so the second one was juan gonzalez oh man his second stint here when we had enar diaz as the catcher there replaced pudge. Um, that's my first sports car when mauve on broke pudge's uh thumb. I don't remember that.

Kevin:

Uh remember how the next year pudge won that championship with the marlins okay, that was my first sports cry, because movon broke his arm, his thumb, and tom hicks was like, well, he ain't gonna do shit, no one's gonna get rid of him. And he traded him. That was my first sports cry when he won the championship, anyways. So we got our ass handed to us by the yankees and I was in a pool hall and arniston I don't remember the fucking name of it it was just me and two other dudes and Juan and Enard Diaz and their handler or whatever the fuck. And he walks in and I'm like, oh my God, there's Juan Gonzalez.

Kevin:

And my friend's like yeah, and I said that motherfucker struck out three times a night, God damn it. So we're waiting and waiting and I'm getting my liquid courage in and he goes to the bathroom and I'm like I'm going in, dude, I'm going in bro. My friend was like no, dude. I was like fuck that, I'm going in dude. So I walked up and we're peeing I'm peeing next to him and I looked up at him and I'm like what happened tonight, bro? Seriously, what happened?

Javier:

That'd be cool shit, though I'd feed next to two celebrities man, that's so fucking cool.

Kevin:

I didn't look at it, though I wanted to.

Javier:

I would've. I wanted to Let me see what you got.

Kevin:

Yeah, let me see what you got.

Tim:

You might have been disappointed, though.

Kevin:

I could've man, but you know steroids, true? Oh yeah, yeah.

Tim:

All right, so we're coming up to.

Kevin:

All right, let's do it all right, gulf of mexico uh-huh, it should still be gulf mexico, but we could have called it gulf of come.

Tim:

Yes, because canada, united states, no no, cuba, united states of mexico, because cuba's part of the it faces well, yeah well, you've never seen the meme of canada, united states, mexico that smells come.

Kevin:

Oh, yeah, okay, we missed out, though we missed that opportunity, okay, uh, I mean it's just's just, it can still be changed.

Tim:

It can still be changed.

Kevin:

We only control 20 nautical miles out from the coast, so he can't do it anyway.

Tim:

That's true, but let's petition for it. Gulf of Cum, that's the only one that I wanted. If it was going to change anything. Gulf of Cum.

Kevin:

Only if we can stand on the Gulf on the beach and just all ejaculate at one time. All the men then go, or women?

Tim:

Kind of like what was it? If you want to, you know.

Javier:

What's the one where they had the hands across America?

Kevin:

Yeah, yeah, so you do the guy next to you.

Tim:

What is it?

Speaker 1:

a.

Kevin:

Dutch rudder yes.

Tim:

No, you control their arms.

Kevin:

Yeah, but you don't bend the arm. Okay, you guys just reminded me, so the last time I was here, I have to ask a question before you go Okay, yeah, yeah. I had a question I was going to ask you guys. It was a scenario Okay, okay, 50,000. This is a good way to close out. You can have the physique you want. All right Greek God body.

Tim:

Mine's a fat dude that's just eating all the cake, pringles, canned dick, whatever the fuck you want.

Kevin:

You can eat whatever you want, drink whatever you want, literally do whatever you want to your body. You will never get sick. You can live as long as you want, whatever the fuck. But once a year, randomly, you have to be pulled into a room. And ten dudes you don't touch them, hold on, you don't touch them.

Kevin:

You don't do anything to them, but they shoot straight in your mouth. It doesn't go anywhere else but your open mouth and it has to land in your mouth and you have to swallow Again. You never touch them. You never fucking touch you, just baby bird it.

Javier:

Can I just ask you real quick Is this a situation where I have to hold it in my mouth?

Kevin:

You have to swallow.

Javier:

No, no, no. But I mean, do I have to wait until all 10 dudes yes, and then swallow it once it's basically a tongue bukkake and it has to sit there and bubble up.

Tim:

Oh man.

Kevin:

Oh man, until it's all there. But it's just once a year. You don't know when it's going to happen, so you don't have to anticipate it.

Javier:

What if it's December 31st and then January 1st?

Kevin:

you get two boatloads you get two boatloads that come, and god forbid that they drink a lot of water. If one starts on this year and the other finishes on this year, you're good. But you can have any physique you want.

Tim:

Fuck it, I'll do it, you're good, but you can have any physique you want. Man, I don't know, I don't think it's Fuck it, I'll do it, yeah right, yeah, I mean, it's good protein.

Kevin:

You're going to need the protein.

Javier:

I've seen videos like that. It's not. It does not look fun.

Kevin:

It's good shiny coat.

Javier:

Oh, my God.

Tim:

I don't know how to feel question.

Kevin:

When I was on here last time and when I go out home, I was like fuck.

Tim:

I didn't answer it. I'm surprised you actually. You held on to well, y'all remember y'all reminded me god damn, I think my mom's watching my wife's watching.

Kevin:

Sorry, babe, it's fine it's fine alright.

Tim:

So we had Kevin on thanks for having me.

Kevin:

Guys remember donate life. Texasorg, able, please able, able to see us? Go to my link in my bio. I'll have one. He's in the hospital, abel Casillas, for Squeezebox Bandits. We've got to help him out.

Javier:

And we will link that in our Instagram page.

Kevin:

Sorry, we didn't talk about it no no, no, no it's fine.

Javier:

I'm glad I remembered.

Kevin:

Thank you.

Javier:

Also, we are on all social media platforms at the Funky Panther. Follow us on Twitter, youtube, instagram, facebook, onlyfans what else? But also we got a phone number, tim. What is that?

Tim:

phone number I don't know, 817-677-0408.

Javier:

Again, it's 817-677-0408. Kevin, thank you so much for coming on a second time. And again, man, it's been too long since you've been here, so we're glad to have you on.

Tim:

I appreciate it. I have a question. Chad, shut the fuck up. What is it? What gets you going?

Javier:

Wait, wait, wait wait, wait, Hold on wait. Oh my God, we forgot to do this Turn the music down.

Kevin:

more thing we got one more was that a drop? That was a drop, that was we got a lot of question uh, what is it? What is chad?

Tim:

what's that robot? If you were going to be on one tv show, what would it be? Mine would be the cosby show, for obvious reasons wow, drew carey show chad.

Javier:

How dare you? You just wanted to all right.

Tim:

So we got one thing we gotta talk. Yeah, we gotta whatever, let's do it okay, real quick so I got all I gotta, I gotta pull this.

Javier:

Okay, pull it up, all right.

Tim:

So, uh, keep talking we went to casper high school uh, javier and I did. We grew up over here and our buddy, uh sam, he wanted to be on. We're like dude, we already got something going on.

Speaker 1:

Uh, we got kevin coming on no, it's okay.

Tim:

It's okay. Uh, it was the last minute thing, um, but he has a special event that's happening and it's kind of a it's a gala fundraiser, uh situation. It's going to be at this really fancy country club and javier is going to read it.

Javier:

Yeah, it's it's going to be, uh, april 11th at 6 pm at the ridgely country club, uh. Private donations to the foundation benefit students and teachers by supporting activities not funded by tax dollars. The foundation's initiative teaching grants allow teachers to take a more creative approach to education and dream bigger. Student scholarships are awarded annually to help ensure that Castleberry ISD graduates continue their path to success even after they leave the district. Grants and scholarship recipients are chosen carefully by our volunteer board of directors and community partners on an anonymous basis to ensure every student, teacher or staff member is judged by merit. This is a really good thing that they're doing for the students, because I mean, look, do you think I qualify? No, you've already graduated.

Javier:

We're actually been out for a while you've been out for a while, but, um, we're gonna link everything to our bio. Um, if you have a chance to donate, we'll post a link on instagram, but, um, the event's going to be april 11th. Uh, tickets are on sale now. Uh, you can go to myonecausecom if I can find the other stuff that's in there. But look up cassiberry education foundation 2025 golden gala. Again, it's at the ridgely crunch country club. It's for a good cause and please help the kids. I actually prefer the Ridgely Crunch Country Club. It's for a good cause and please help the kids out.

Tim:

I actually prefer the Ridgely Crunchy Club, crunchy Club, the Crunchy Club's even better.

Kevin:

And if you can't donate retweet, repost it. Repost, please Retwizzle.

Tim:

For this and same thing for GoFundMe fundraiser for Abel.

Javier:

Casillas, I'll post something about it. For Abel Casillas, I'll post something about it.

Tim:

Yeah, so if you don't know, we've had Abel on Squeezebox Bandits. He's the front man. Puts on a great show he is the Squeezebox man himself and he's going to need a little bit of help because obviously while you're in the hospital you can't make a living if you're a touring musician.

Kevin:

And that's his only job.

Javier:

That's his, actually does it for a living like you know, yeah, he hustles man. Yeah, so all right, so we're gonna throw this back up. You guys are sexy and the apples are great. Thank you so much, kevin. Man, we love you. Thank you for coming on and again, um, find us everywhere. We'll link those stuff in the bio and we love you guys. Thanks again for listening and watching. I'm javier, I'm tim, I'm kevin and we are the funky panthers death to Nazis.

People on this episode

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Javier

Host
Head Shot

Chad

Co-host
Head Shot

Tim

Co-host

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